As a founder, you take on many roles throughout your journey. A founder is a leader, manager, visionary, and, sometimes, even a friend. When building a company from the ground up, it often feels natural to partner with talented friends or to form close bonds with your team through long hours of collaboration. This raises a big question for many founders: Should I be friends with my team?
The answer isn’t a simple yes or no. It depends on your personal leadership style, the dynamics of your company, and the vision you have for its growth. The relationships you build in the early stages of your business can significantly shape its culture, work ethic, and overall success. Striking a balance between leadership and friendship is key to fostering a positive environment while maintaining the integrity of your role.
The Perks of Being Friends with Your Team
Building a business is an adventure, and whether you’re just starting out or managing a larger team, you’re all working toward a shared goal: success. Beyond hiring for technical skills, founders naturally gravitate toward people that have shared values and they connect with, which can lead to strong bonds and even friendships.
Friendship fosters trust, a cornerstone of any thriving workplace. Trust allows creativity, innovation, and collaboration to flourish without unnecessary restraints. Whether you hire an existing friend or form friendships with employees, these deeper connections often result in a workplace where people feel valued, supported, and want to work at. This mutual respect can become a defining factor in your company’s success.
Being friendly with your team can also create a sense of safety and loyalty. Employees who feel seen, heard, and appreciated are more likely to go above and beyond their job descriptions. They take ownership of their roles, stick around longer, and remain committed during tough times. A team that works together with camaraderie and mutual respect often creates an energy that makes the work feel more meaningful and just plain fun!
Research from Heidelberg University highlights that employee-friendly companies tend to have healthier, more committed, and more engaged employees, with lower turnover rates. Creating a supportive environment can yield significant benefits, not just for individual team members but for the company as a whole.
When founders view their employees as individuals and whole humans, it opens doors for personal and professional growth, paving the way for shared success. Building meaningful relationships with your team doesn’t just make the workplace more enjoyable, it strengthens the foundation of your business allowing for your success to be built securely on top.
The Challenges of Mixing Friendship with Leadership
While there are clear benefits to forming friendships with your team, challenges can arise. One of the most significant is maintaining authority and respect. As a founder, your primary responsibility is to guide the business, make tough decisions, and uphold a professional standard. If the lines between friendship and leadership blur, it can become difficult to assert your authority when needed.
Friendships in the workplace can also lead to perceptions of favoritism, whether intentional or not. If you’re visibly closer to certain team members, others may feel excluded or undervalued. This can impact morale, create tension, and even lead to division within the team. A healthy workplace culture depends on fairness and equity, so it’s essential to ensure that all employees feel equally supported and appreciated.
Another challenge is addressing performance issues or making difficult decisions, such as layoffs. It’s hard to confront a friend about their shortcomings or make a tough decision that affects someone you care about personally. However, as a leader, your role is to prioritize the needs of the business and the entire team, even when it’s uncomfortable.
“I approach each of my employees with the same respect and friendly demeanor, regardless of whether I have a past relationship with them or not. I also do not hide the fact that I may have friendships that extend beyond the workplace but I often don’t let those relationships creep too far into the day-to-day. I am friendly with everyone; there is no favoritism displayed. Everyone gets an opportunity to shine in my eyes!” – Annalee Hagood-Earl, CEO & Founder of Bash Creative Inc.
Leadership isn’t about being liked—it’s about doing what’s right for your business and fostering an environment where everyone can succeed. Striking this balance requires intentionality and clear boundaries.
Striking the Right Balance
So how do you balance being a friend and a leader? While there’s no one-size-fits-all solution, there are key principles that can help you navigate these relationships effectively.
Trustworthiness
As a leader, you set the tone for the workplace. Demonstrating honesty, transparency, and accountability can inspire trust and respect within your team. Open communication, addressing conflicts quickly and respectfully, and modeling a healthy work-life balance can create a culture of mutual trust.
Boundaries
Establishing clear boundaries is crucial for maintaining professionalism while fostering friendships. Separate personal and professional interactions to ensure that work remains the focus during office hours. Outside of work, it’s perfectly fine to socialize and connect on a personal level, but keeping work discussions out of those settings can help maintain a healthy balance.
Objectivity
Leadership requires making fair and objective decisions. Being friends with your team doesn’t mean compromising your judgment. Balancing care and objectivity not only enhances your leadership skills but also builds trust within the team.
Creating a Collaborative Culture
Encourage your team to build relationships with each other. A strong team culture promotes collaboration, resilience, and mutual support, allowing the company to thrive even when you’re not directly involved. By fostering a positive and inclusive environment, you empower your employees to succeed both individually and collectively.
Finding the Right Path
The decision of whether to be friends with your team doesn’t have a clear-cut answer. It’s a personal choice that depends on your leadership style and the dynamics of your business.
At its core, the goal is to strike a balance that feels authentic to you as a founder. By fostering mutual respect, maintaining clear boundaries, and prioritizing fairness, you can create an environment where friendships coexist with professionalism. This balance not only supports the well-being of your team but also strengthens your role as a leader, contributing to the overall success of your business.
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References:
1. The Benefits of an Employee-Friendly Company on Job Attitudes and Health of Employees: Findings from Matched Employer–Employee Data: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9329963/#
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